Thanks for your comments on the last post, guys. I'm going to try and get what information I can, but as far as I know my various gods are snubbing me right now. I think tomorrow I'll take the time to try and unweave myself, since I don't know anyone skilled in energy work. This has been...an odd experience. And not altogether heartening.

*sigh*

( In which Elo learns about the origin of Totems... )

I would like to reiterate that this is my cosmology and very likely is not yours. I know when I run up against someone with a different piece of cosmology who swears it's true and that I have to believe in it and Do Something About This Cosmic CRISIS!!! ...well I get a little uncomfortable to say the least. So, just reiterating, if it's not what you believe, or not what the Real Shamans™ believed, just take it as a fun little story. Free entertainment!

Interesting.

( In which Elo is brought to another weird place for another weird thing... )

Long time no post, I know. I've been very weak in my meditation lately. Not spent enough time working on it. Various things have nudged me towards it, and many times I feel pulled but I haven't answered the call very much.

I have meditated successfully twice in the past month or so, the first time in which Moon thoroughly ripped me a new one for neglecting my duties, and the second time in which Moon and I, both in the skins of foxes, walked through a pretty meadow place, and she devoured my stomach to get me to stop stressing out over situations.

Worked a little, but I'm doing some cognitive therapy this week that will probably help more, heh.

I'm not feeling well tonight; I think Moon is calling to me. I think I'll meditate.

Also, I pulled out an old book I have lying around from my middle school Wicca days: D.J. Conway's Animal Magick. I'm flipping through it out of sheer amusement. Don't bother, kids. Make your own cosmology.

It's interesting to read the overview and the superstitions, but the "magickal attributes"? For example, in the entry for Bear, they never once mention the fact that Bear is a medicine/healer type for many native american tribes. My sensei (a native american healer) told us that his people learned all sorts of herbology and healing things by watching bears. Watching what they do when they're sick, what they eat, how they act. Bears have similar innards to our own. The fact that, in this book, Bear stands for Strength, Patience, Revenge, Wisdom, and similar attributes....feh.

What is really important, though, kids, is to figure out what these animals mean to you. Go talk to them and ask them. Research their habits and read about the actual animals, not some load of bull "Animal Magick" book. I'm not saying my cosmology is the right one, by any stretch. In fact don't listen to anything I said about Bear. Find out what Bear means to you.

In fact, to me, Bear means Mother, in every sense of the word. Nurturing, protecting, healing, sacrificing. But what Bear means to you is something entirely different.

Hmm, maybe I've figured out my essay topic for Lupa's anthology finally...

I retired my old "normal" blog. I felt the need for a new beginning on that front, to let me grow beyond it. Silly, I know, to need to "grow beyond" people on livejournal, but hey. Humans are complex beings. :)

So foxling has been ditched in favor of cloversix.

What does this mean to you?

Well, I'm moving my therapy filter over there. It's not really spirituality, but it's important to me, so I'll post it there.

Also, whereas I mentioned my spirituality a whole once on Foxling, I'll make cloversix more of my rambly place for spiritual stuff. Other things I was afraid to talk about, like sex, I feel more able to talk about since I've grown as a person.

Yep, okay. That's about all I need to say. Head over and request your filters if you want to read. :)

Very little post, I know.

Spiritual-free meme:

Choose one word to describe me ... just one single word. Leave it in my comments. Then post this message on your journal (or not) and see how many strange and interesting things people say about you.

Stolen from the lovely moonvoice.

My anxiety has been really bad the past few days. So I worked on this to deal with it and it helped a lot.

( Image behind the cut for hyoogeness )

This is technically under the therapy filter but it's short and not really all that therapyish so I'll just copy-paste what I emailed to my mate today.

"Something happened today, not sure what. Must have been the freewrite I did during management class. But I'm starting to talk to people!

I mean, what would YOU do if you heard behind you:

"And he's got um, let me think, oh, a 68 troll rogue, a 70 tauren shaman ..."

What else could you do but turn around and say, "May I butt in with 68 nelf hunter?"

And have a lively discussion about why the Alliance sucks :D

Then I made small talk with the cashier, told another girl she had an awesome hat (she didn't hear me though :< ) and yeah...

PROGRESS!"

I basically sat in Management and, during the video about why the Pike Place fish throwers are awesome and make their job fun, I wrote a freewrite basically addressing myself and telling myself it's okay. I think I'll post that next? I figure it might be useful for others who need pick-me-ups. Y'know, tools, and all that.

Yay, I'm starting to feel like me a bit again. :)

Another round of homage. I actually had like 12 pics scanned and I was in the process of saving them when photoshop crapped out. My computer is becoming erratic :(

Well, at least the two that saved were of Death.

( Pics under the cut... )

More tomorrow, when I rescan.